Nursing, Sleep and the Transition to Daycare

When my son started daycare at 15 months old, he was no longer nursed - that journey ended around 13 months. He had an easier transition to daycare than my daughter, and I truly think it's because he was no longer nursing. 

This doesn’t mean that if your child is starting daycare you should stop nursing - NOT AT ALL! It just means you should be prepared in case your child is like my daughter, Lulu…

Lulu is 18 months old, she's still nursed, and at this point, I don't see an end in sight. My girl loves the boob.

And she recently started daycare.

She cries during drop-off, which my son never did. 

When we get home after I pick her up from daycare, she grabs my hand and brings me to the couch, and signs, "milk". 

She now wants to nurse as soon as she gets home, after dinner, and during her bedtime routine as well. Here I thought we were in the process of slowing down with our extended breast/chest-feeding journey, but she’s apparently decided it’s time to ramp things up instead!

To be expected, starting daycare has affected her nursing (increased it) and sleep (decreased it) at home. 

The last two nights, she's woken a few times at night, looks at the camera, and gives me the sign for milk. So, I've been going in to nurse her. 

My husband asks me, “Ari, what are you doing? Are you going to continue nursing her at night or are you going to have me go in there?” 

As a sleep consultant, I know I should not go in and nurse her at night anymore, but as a mom, I want to go in there and nurse her because this is a huge transition for her. 

And then I remind myself that yes, this is a BIG transition for her!

I also know that she’s a great sleeper otherwise. Her foundation is strong, and this little regression is just that - a regression. I know the cause of it - starting daycare.

Wouldn’t you know it, after a few “off” nights and needing some extra comfort nursing, she’s back to sleeping through the night.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, I’d recommend providing comfort however you need to, for 2-3 nights but understand that if you continue to loosen your expectations around sleep, your child’s sleep regression may become more than that.

If this would have continued at my house into a third night, I would have had my husband go in and try to provide comfort in a different way.

The most important thing to remember is this: Regressions like this happen - with nursing and with sleep. I'd encourage you to do what's best for your family and yourself, but also be very aware that if you continue to do these things it can quickly become the new normal.

So, from a mom (and lactation and sleep consultant) who has done this transition a few times now, I want to share my wisdom with you. Let’s dive in!

What to Expect as Your Child Starts Daycare

Keep your expectations low to start, as this is a big change for both you and your child! And, maybe you’ll find that you’re pleasantly surprised if things go better than expected.

Sleep will likely get off track because naps are happening in a new environment. As much as daycare centers try to make the environment conducive to sleep…well, it just isn’t as great as when you have total control of it at home. Some will turn the lights off or down, but it certainly isn’t pitch black. And some will even have a white noise machine playing in the room during nap time, but, not all babies are sleeping at the same time and the sound machine may not be very loud or close enough to your child to really benefit their sleep.

Ask your child’s daycare provider if you can send a small, portable white noise machine that can be kept near your child when they sleep. Most will be happy to oblige.

Your nursing journey may be affected as well. If your baby will be taking bottles while you’re away, you’ll need to pump or provide formula. This may be something your baby hasn’t had to do yet, so practice before they’re expected to actually make these changes for the first time at daycare. If you’re practicing extended breast/chestfeeding like Lulu and I, you may experience breast refusals or, like in our case, an uptick in nursing requests. Either way, expect feeding to be “off” for a while as you go through the transition to daycare.

Many daycares also have children move rooms as they “age out” of one and into another. This typically happens around 12 months, and when this happens they also often put all the children in that room on a one-nap schedule - which not all children are ready for that soon! Most children won’t make the transition from two naps to one until closer to 14-15 months.

If this is the case for your child, and they’re simply not ready to be on a one-nap schedule quite yet, you can expect some evening fussiness due to being overtired.

The Benefits of Extended Breast/chestfeeding into Toddlerhood

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that once your child starts daycare, you can expect germs to make their way into your home on a regular basis. Human milk can help with improving your child’s immunity by helping them stay hydrated if they are ill.

Extended breast/chestfeeding (breast/chestfeeding into toddlerhood and beyond) also helps with brain development during this time of transition and helps provide comfort, calmness and soothing just like my Lulu has found. Extended breast/chestfeeding may provide comfort during other times of transition, for example, moving houses, going through a divorce, or transitioning from the crib to a bed.

Finally, there’s still nutritional value for your child, and extended breast/chestfeeding can be super helpful with nourishing your child, especially if they’re a picky eater!

What to Do If Sleep Is Getting Off Track Due to the Daycare Transition

If your child is having a sleep regression caused by the transition to starting daycare, there are definitely some things you can do to help them get back on track!

First, offer an earlier bedtime. Their daycare environment is new. The people and faces they’re seeing are new. All of this “newness” can be overstimulating and exhausting for a little one! Offering an earlier bedtime is always a great way to combat overstimulation and overtiredness. If your child is going through a schedule change because they’re now in the toddler room, an early bedtime is almost always a must, unless they’re able to sneak in a 30-45 minutes catnap their car seat on the way home from daycare.

On the weekends, you can always offer a second nap if your child still needs it.

If your child wakes at night, I’d recommend providing support in their room, and, over time, gradually removing it, releasing the responsibility of falling asleep from you back to them. If you’ve got a solid sleeper from the start, this should only take a few nights before they get back on track. However, if you’ve never had a good sleeper, maybe now is the time to fix that!

Speaking of fixing sleep…

You can work with me! I offer full sleep packages for those who have never been good sleepers or those who aren’t yet independent with sleep. And, in the case of starting daycare, I also offer 30-, 45-, or 60-minute a la carte calls to help you navigate situations like your child’s transition to daycare.

Seriously, reach out today - I’d love to help you!