Flexibility & Freedom with Sleep Training
Many parents do not want to sleep train their child because they think, they will lose the flexibility and freedom they currently have. The one where your child sleeps when they are tired, the one where you are free to do any outings, at any time. Well the truth is, this freedom and flexibility exist during the newborn months. When you are able to go out to eat, to run errands and to visit friends, never worrying about the baby not sleeping, why? Because in fact, the baby will sleep!
Yet around the 4-month mark, things seem to change. This is when our perfect little sleepers go through a big developmental milestone, most commonly referred to as the 4-month sleep regression. During this time many parents notice that their perfect little sleeper is no longer sleeps for long stretches, is waking every 45-minutes and is fighting their sleep. And they don’t know why? These parents (like I was) are unaware that their child’s circadian rhythm has matured, making their sleep cycles more adult like and that they are simply more aware of their surroundings.
So, what does this mean for the flexibility and freedom we once had? Well it means that the flexibility and freedom need to be put on hold, until a healthy sleep foundation has been established, if it hasn’t already. How do we do this? We do this by:
Respecting our child’s sleep needs: by putting our child down to sleep when they need it, not when it is convenient for us
Providing them with a conducive sleep environment: eliminating distractions and creating a conducive consistent sleep environment
Teaching them independent sleep: giving them the opportunity to learn the skills they need to put themselves to sleep
By removing the thought that our child will sleep when, where and how is convenient for us, we are able to establish a healthy sleep foundation and get them the restorative sleep their little bodies need.
But the truth is so many parents don’t do this because they do not know what a healthy sleep foundation is or that their child’s sleep needs have changed. So, they continue living, planning outings and expecting the same flexibility and freedom the newborn stage gave them. Yet what they get, is this vicious cycle of having an overtired fussy baby, that fights their sleep and wont sleep, which is not freeing or enjoyable for anyone.
Looking back, I remember this so well. I remember planning date nights, weekend outings and trips with my husband, yet dreading them the day they came along. I remember the anxiety and stress I felt leaving the house, the day of. Not knowing what kind of a date, day or trip, it would be; not knowing if my son would stay asleep or nap; not knowing if I would spend hours soothing, rocking and holding him, all with the hopes of getting him to sleep. Like so many parents, I endured un-enjoyable, anxiety/stress ridden, sleep deprived date nights, outings and trips, because I didn’t know that I had to establish a healthy sleep foundation for my son.
Today, a year after establishing my sons healthy sleep foundation, I can tell you that my husband and I are able to plan date nights, weekend outings and trips, that I actually look forward to and enjoy! Because with a little planning I know that I can either alter his sleep schedule or simply plan around it. And on the rare occasion that sleep does become an issue because we missed naptime or the ideal bedtime, I know that I am afforded the flexibility that comes with having a well-rested and not overtired child. Which makes things that much more enjoyable, flexible and freeing.
The benefits of establishing a healthy sleep foundation are so many! Yet some of my personal favorites are the ones we as parents seem to overlook, spending some much-needed alone time (taking a bath, uninterrupted podcast listening, book reading, HGTV watching or endlessly wandering the halls of Target), spending some one on one time with my husband (watching some of our favorite TV shows, enjoying beers in our backyard, having our weekly date night) or simply enjoying our family outings (at the park, lake or river) because my son is so well rested and in such a good mood. One year ago I would have never imagined being able to do these things. I would have never imagined my son’s mood would change so much. I would have never imagined I would get to a place where I was actually enjoying parenthood. But the truth is, I am and so can you! Just book a complimentary call with me and I’ll get you started.
