Sleep Training and the 70/30 Rule
THE most common question I get asked by families is something along the lines of, “How am I supposed to live my life when I have to adhere to a schedule?” Or, “Sleep training feels so rigid. I really value flexibility.”
But let me tell you a little secret…
…sleep training and following a schedule most of the time allows you to have freedom and flexibility with your child’s sleep without the stress of them sleeping poorly.
In this post, I’m going to go over the simplicity of the 70/30 rule, something I teach all of my clients about as we wrap up our work together.
Why Sleep Training Feels Rigid
I get it. I never thought I would be a mom. I loved my single life - I used to be a fashionista! Nowadays, you’ll find me in leggings and a nursing bra for easy access!
I also never thought I would be the mom who sleep-trained her children, but then my son didn’t sleep and nothing I tried (rice cereal in a bottle, anyone?!) helped him sleep any better.
Many parents, myself included, welcome their baby and just assume the baby will adapt to their lifestyle. And then when that doesn’t end up working, they realize that maybe a little structure isn’t so bad!
Eventually, after seeing the benefits of some of the structure I was providing for my son, my husband and I decided to sleep train him. OMG, IT WAS LIFE-GIVING! When we were all finally sleeping better, my son was a happy, jolly baby, and I was a well-rested, patient parent.
After getting a taste of what life was like both before and after sleep training, I will be the first parent to opt for an early bedtime and give up the late nights out. It’s just not worth it!
Here’s the thing - you DO need to be very rigid when you sleep train. You need to have a plan that you follow step by step. You need to implement routines and schedules and stick to them throughout the process. You need to be very consistent with your response to your child. It feels very rigid. But it’s only for a few weeks! In fact, my program is a 3-week program because I use gentler sleep training methods at Step by Step Baby Consulting. So, for 3-weeks, I’m asking my clients to stick to the plan 100% of the time.
After our very structured and strict 3-weeks together, I teach my clients about how, over the past few weeks, they’ve built a very strong sleep foundation for their child. Now that sleep is a skill that has been practiced and solidified, they don’t need to be so strict anymore!
What is the 70/30 Rule?
During the week, most of us work and we follow somewhat of a schedule. Because of this, so does your baby, whether you realize it or not!
Schedules aren’t a bad thing. In fact, they support a healthy circadian rhythm. Sleeping and waking at the same times daily are very beneficial, and most babies 6 months and up can be on a more structured schedule.
It also just so happens that Monday-Friday is about 70% of your week. That means that on the weekends, you can bend the rules a bit!
70% of the time, follow your child’s sleep schedule, follow their routines, and allow them to fall asleep independently. This will maintain the sleep skills that you worked so hard to instill.
Then, 30% of the time, you can go with the flow! Want to skip a nap and go to the beach? Do it! Have a birthday dinner to attend that falls over bedtime? No big deal…go for it! Traveling on vacation? No worries - your little one will have a blast making memories with you!
You might even find that your little one can sleep anywhere because they have such a strong sleep foundation.
For most children, 2-3 days “off” their normal schedule is manageable.
Considering Sensitive Sleepers
Some children, though, may be a little more sensitive than others when it comes to their sleep. The only way to know is to find out! If you find that it’s been a day or two off your child’s regular schedule and they’re getting fussy or crabby, this is their way of showing you it’s time to get back on track with their regular schedule and routines.
My own children are polar opposites. Lukas is a schedule kid. He didn't go down to one nap until he was 18 months old. We tried the transition a few times prior to that and failed. That just shows you how sensitive of a sleeper he is. With Lulu, we attempted once around 15 months and she took to it right away. She’s just not as sensitive of a sleeper as her brother is.
Here’s what it comes down to…assess your own child and their personal needs as you make these decisions.
And, if you decide that sleep training is the answer for your family and you do in fact want true freedom and flexibility with their sleep, let’s work together! I’d love to help this become your reality. You can learn more about our one-on-one sleep packages here.
